What to do if they try to humiliate you
Not everyone will be able to recognize a toxic relationship from the first conversation. They often hide behind care and easy advice. But if communication with a toxic person can be avoided by simply cutting yourself off from him, then no one is safe from spontaneous manifestations of anger. If they try to humiliate you openly is always unpleasant. But this phenomenon can be fought.
Sigmund Freud said: “If a person is not rude, he has no problems and everyone loves him, most likely he is no longer alive.” As you understand, the legendary psychiatrist was convinced that hearing negative statements directed at oneself and experiencing problems is the fate of all living people. But is it possible to resist this universal fate? Let’s find out!
The Power of Emotional Intelligence
Let’s start with whether a phrase carelessly thrown at you or everyday rudeness is worth your emotional burnout. As Freud prepared, the strength of a person’s emotional intelligence is determined by the magnitude of the problem that can make him angry. Of course, a person is an emotional being, possessing a huge nervous system from the tips of his toes to the top of his head. He lives by feelings, but we can control them. This ability is called emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to actively express positive emotions and qualities, while managing negative ones and not letting them pass through oneself.
To explain it in a primitive way, emotional intelligence is a filter that lets the good in and prevents the bad from passing through. This filter works differently for each person. Therefore, some people take everything to heart, while others are more “callous”.
According to Freud, emotional intelligence can be developed. But anything will set off a shattered nervous system. And in order not to aggravate the situation, you need to learn to filter the negativity and not let it into yourself. After all, “a strong personality never takes on the burden of other people’s statements.”
If they try to humiliate you, act according to Freud
Freud is the author of many of the smartest thoughts, from which entire psychological movements were born. One of the iconic phrases with which Freud aptly answered a journalist’s question whether he considered himself immoral: “Yes,” and continued: “Regarding any tricky question about your personality, answer in the affirmative.”
By devaluing the enemy’s attack, you will not allow him to insult you.
Why does a stranger decide to speak negatively about you? To convey the bitter truth? Not at all. He is trying to hurt you! In the process, the enemy pulls out the nastiest thing he has on you (even if it’s fiction).
To confront an opponent, it is not necessary to respond with rudeness. Just agree with the negative statement! Say “Yes” to any speculation with a straight face. The power of such a “Yes” can dissolve any psychological pressure. You will deprive the person of the opportunity to offend you with something.
Without proving the opposite and without making excuses, you will devalue any attack, depriving the enemy of his goal. Another wise phrase from Dr. Freud: “He who does not make excuses to anyone gains psychological strength.” Do you agree?